If I have learned anything in the past year of my walk with grief after my husband’s death, (and trust me, I’ve learned a LOT), it is this: If there is any “normal” in the world, it is that the journey of grief is a difficult and very personal one. Grief can take you to your absolute lowest point . . . over and over again. Sometimes you will literally have to claw your way back up, only to be sent back down again some other day. It’s like climbing to the top of a mountain one day, and when you wake up in the morning you find that you have somehow ended up back where you started — at the bottom. What counts is that you keep getting back up, that you do it again. Or as Yoda says; “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Each time you do this, it’s a lot like exercising. When you keep working out over and over, you get a little stronger each time. And, just like you do at the gym, where you have a set of exercises tailored specifically for our personal needs, that’s what dealing with grief is like. Our “grief exercises” and the way we deal with them, is never the same as that of others. We all a have different “muscles” that we need to work on, to strengthen. It’s important to realize from the beginning that sometimes we need to drastically change our routine to make these exercises work for us. We may have to start from ground zero all over again — sometimes more than once. And, unfortunately, results aren’t achieved overnight. It takes time, diligence, and a desire to make things better, knowing all the while that it may be the most difficult thing we have had to accomplish in our entire life so far. But, we do it anyway. And through it all we need to remember the wise words of Piglet to Pooh:

“If there is ever a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember; You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But, the most important thing is, even when we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”

A.A. Milne, “Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin” http://www.imdb.com. 1997

Journey of the Heart
Take my hand and walk with me,
Break grief's chains and set me free.
Days are bleak and nights are long--
Life's so confusing since you've been gone.

Give me wings and let me fly.
Hold me close if I should cry.
Help me find strength to carry on.
Life's so surreal since you've been gone.

Free my spirit and mend my heart --
I need your love for this new start.
Fill my loneliness. Heal my soul.
Now that you've gone, can I ever feel whole?

Where's the reason? Where's the rhyme?
Why didn't life give us more time?
I turn to face the brilliant dawn;
Still, life's so empty since you've been gone.

Julieanne Gentz, April 2022